Once the Rangers have been bundled off, Julian asks Totter to see to dividing up the extra supplies the departing Rangers left behind for Robin and Julian and preparing them for the ride. Totter nods and gives Julian and Robin a bit of privacy, which is what the request seems designed to do.
Julian fetches an oilskin from Morgenstern's saddlebag and opens it. There are two pieces of paper in it.
The first he hands to Robin. "This," he tells Robin, "is for you. Your brother arranged it." When Robin takes it, it proves to be a trump sketch of Jovian.
As Robin realizes what the paper is her reaction is two-fold and simultaneous; one, a wrinkle of distaste curls her upper lip and she almost drops the paper. Two her head cocks as she beholds her brother's image all swirly and pretty and her eyes twinkle with fondness at Jovian's prepardedness and thoughtfulness.
Then, almost in a rush Robin will refold (or reroll as the case may be) the sketch and tuck it away in an inner pocket of her vest.
[GMs]
[re-rolls]
The other piece of paper is a sealed note, which Julian opens and skims while Robin is examining the trump sketch. He arches an eyebrow midway through it, and when he is done, says, "I think you should read this, Robin. Tell me what you think when you've finished."
The Ranger takes the letter, and though she does her best to let her father know that yes, she's been keeping up on her readin', a bit of tongue slips out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrates.
This is the letter:
Prince Julian --
I hope this note finds you -- and Arden -- well. I apologize for interrupting your duty to her even in this small way, but I have recently had some news that I thought I should pass along as soon as possible.
If Gerard has spoken of me to you, then you no doubt know I have recently become his ward. Although your father Oberon identified me as a relative when he sent Martin to fetch me to Amber, he did not reveal how I am related, and no-one has stepped forward to claim me as his own child in blood. Gerard, having been something of a father in spirit these last few years, has therefore stepped into the role.
In the weeks since the Coronation, I've finally had a chance to return to the land of my birth and speak with my mother for the first time since I came to Amber. I had hoped that she might shed some light on the mystery of my paternity; but alas, she remains as stubborn as ever and was quite unhelpful on that front when asked.
However, much to my surprise, when confronted with pictures of the sons of Oberon in an attempt to jog her memory, she identified you as her own grandfather.
Now, my mother is not always entirely trustworthy, but I have no reason to believe she is lying in this instance. She may be mistaken, though, of course.
Here are the facts as I know them: Upon my great-grandmother's death, my mother learned from her old diary that she had borne the child of her riding instructor, who vanished before he even knew she was pregnant. The diary included sketches of the riding instructor; these apparently bore a strong resemblance to your Trump. The child of that union, my mother's father, has himself been gone -- off "defending his primal woods," Mum says -- for almost sixty years. I don't know how old he was when Mum was born, but my best guess is that he'd be a little shy of a century old at present. His family name is Kuli. If he grew up in the same place as Mum, then he is from a town called Winterness.
If you really are the man in those sketches, I figured you'd rather know than not know.
I understand you are in the middle of a war, and it may be some time before we are able to speak of this matter in person. In the meantime -- and I hope this will quell any uneasiness you might have about my situation -- please understand that I am not especially looking for anything from you. Confirmation or denial of my mother's story I would certainly appreciate, if you are able to give it, but even that is hardly an obligation. I am, and have been, well looked after; I certainly don't feel you owe me anything.
But in some quieter future, if you are amenable, I do hope we might get to know each other a little better.
(At the very least, if you decide you wish to seek out your alleged son and granddaughter, I hope you might allow me to warn you in person just what you are getting yourself into....)
Sincerely and respectfully,
Your great-granddaughter (or not),
Folly
"Well." Robin states after finally getting to the end of the letter. She hands the letter back to her father as she thinks about her answer.
"Well, before you all came back I wasn't at my most observant, sir, but Folly always struck me as a bit naiv... no, that's not right. Not naive. Perhaps 'dangerously optimistic' is better. And while she is a hell of a people herder, I never noticed an out-and-out lie coming out of her. Or her working against someone's own best interest. So she's probably telling as much of the truth as she knows it as she can.
"That that" Robin points at the letter, "is so tentative with regards to yourself, sir, tells me that she is at least starting to understand how things are, now that everyone's back... That's good." The Ranger nods in satisfaction, she'd much rather see Folly alive and a little less optimistic than the reverse.
The girl rubs her chin as she continues. "Otherwise, a couple of things occur. Folly used to run a pretty tight herding pattern with Martin and I don't see that changing, so connections to her will have Royal implications these days. Plus I'd be willing to bet heavily that there's more in her background than just a Prince as a great-grandfather -- Folly Hears really, really well. Maybe better than me." Robin looks up at her father to make sure he catches her allusion. "That could be Shadow... but somehow I don't think so."
Julian nods at Robin's assessment of the situation. "It is entirely possible that her mother's account of her origins was correct. There was a time some decades ago when I was--not myself. I don't remember all of it well, so I might well have sired her ancestor then. If Folly's mother was of the blood, it may be that one of our relatives was drawn to her and sired Folly."
Robin purses her lips and nods, that would make sense with what she observed.
He takes the letter and refolds it. "If Gerard has her in hand, then she is well-cared for for the nonce. Since she came here at the time of the so-called Sundering, she cannot have much experience with the Royal gifts, and what you say of her does not make her out to be a Ranger. If I must send my own son away, I can hardly do better for my putative great-granddaughter than to leave her be. I shall have to reply to her later. For now, though, let us speak of other things."
Julian looks Robin straight in the eye. "I do not see how you could know of this, but I shall ask before I tell. Has anyone told you of Random's new endeavor?"
"No," the Ranger's voice is small. She's pretty sure that she's not going to like what she's about to hear. But she's on board with the Royal program, however icky it might be.
Julian frowns. After a moment, he says, "Random has duplicated Corwin's feat. He has scribed a new Pattern. I suspect that he means to let Amber fall, and to disperse the people between Corwin's Paris and his new city of Xanadu. He suggested to me that it would be wise to start evacuating Arden, and we agreed to disagree on the matter after some discussion. He very carefully did not issue any commands and I very carefully did not violate my oath to him. If he and I both survive, we have the beginnings of a working relationship between Arden and the new monarch."
"I understand, sir." Robin says very carefully.
He offers Robin a tight smile. "My father's last command to me was to hold Arden against all enemies. I will do that if I can, because I said I would, and because my people need me, as do the people of Amber if they only knew it. But we may be on our own in the end, Robin."
"Then we're on our own." The girl's blond head bobs and a grim smile dances across the girl's face. "Wouldn't want to be anywhere else, Dad."
"Nor would I," Julian replies, his tight smile lightening into a more genuine one. "But if it should come to the worst, remember that your oaths lie otherwise than mine."
"Yeah. I understand." Robin's mouth flattens a little as she nods. But then she looks up at her father again and a wave of warm gratitude flows through her eyes. "Thank you for that chance, sir. I... I never would have made it on my own.
"Even if I did have to wear a dress." Fierce playfulness ripples through the girl and she pounces on her father for a big wrestle/hug.
Julian's strong arms tighten around Robin, and she can feel her ribs creak for a moment before he releases her. "You were the loveliest woman at the ball. And you will be the loveliest at--the next one you attend, as well." He kisses her Robin's forehead.
Despite the electric spark of curiousity that runs through her at Julian's rephrasing, Robin decides to let it pass since her father obviously doesn't want to talk about it right now. Instead she chooses to concentrate on giving as good hugging as she is getting and a small croon thrums through her.
Then he says, "My duty bids me to Jones Falls. Is there any other aid I can give you before our roads part?"
Robin shakes her head. She's as ready as she'll ever be. But she also worries that Julian isn't. "Sir? You are the best father any of us could have ever had. Don't let the others' stinkiness convince you otherwise -- they'll get over it in time... and I want you there when I marry that boy, K?"
Julian nods. "I shall plan to be there. Because I plan for the worst does not mean I shall not endeavor mightily to avoid it."
"Good enough." Robin nods with a bright smile.
Robin can see that Totter has bulging saddlebags for three horses, and is respectfully standing by at a distance, pointedly not listening to the Warden and his daughter.
Reluctantly releasing her father, Robin nods a farewell to Totter. Returning sparkling eyes to Julian, she smiles at him, bows, catches up her pack and makes fast tracks for the forest.
Behind her, she can hear Totter and Julian readying their gear for their own departure. If she turns back, she sees that Julian is watching her.
Though the Ranger can feel the weight of her father's gaze, she resists the urge to look back. The good-byes are done, it's time to set her feet for the hunt.
Seeing his sister leave the clearing in a purposeful 'I'm going to Arcadia' manner, with a single wary glance toward his father, Adonis leaves Luke and sprints after Ranger Robin, catching her a short way up her path. He makes no attempt to conceal his approach and she surely hears him coming.
Robin's blonde head cocks at the sounds from behind her. And she stops. Slowly turning, the Ranger rests her left hand on the hilt of her sword as she watches her brother approach. Beneath her eyes, green waves flicker back and forth but her expression remains wary.
[Point of clarification - is Robin a left hander? It's just that it makes a difference which hand is on the sword, know what I mean? The sword hand says 'I'm ready to draw if you give me hassle', the other says 'isn't it irritating the way your scabbard catches the shrubbery when you turn round in the woods'.]
[I totally understand. :) Robin was fighting right-handed when she and Adonis first met. Since then, her sword has been re-hung for a left-handed draw and she's still slightly favoring her right hand. So while Robin's not being overtly hostile there's more of the former of your examples than the latter in her stance.]
As she turns, Adonis slows to a walk and finally halts a couple of yards away. His expression is hard to read, but it might be bashful.
He looks pointedly at Robin's hand on sword but doesn't refer to it. "So you will enter Arcadia." No one could mistake this statement for a question.
"Yep." Robin keeps her hand where it is. She doesn't want to -- and won't -- fight Adonis, but she wants the tool handy. Subtly the Ranger tenses for Adonis' next gambit to keep her out of his homeland.
His eyes shift between her hands before returning to her face. "You are still hurt; would you care for my company?"
A surprised and rueful chirrup escapes from Robin. In her mind her father's voice echoes 'who do you trust... with your very soul?' While there are people that Robin trusts less than Adonis, there aren't many. But she is still off archery duty, and she did want a native guide to this place. But this guy?!
The Ranger's eye narrow as her intuition battles with her reason. "You said we will not walk together. You planning on turning me over to Mom first chance you get? Or just plain sabotaging my mission?"
Adonis smiles gently at the ironies before replying earnestly, "Robin, I wish you every success in your mission. If I had wanted any of my progeny born outside of Arcadia inside, I would have put them there some time ago.
"I have not changed my opinion on us working together. Since I first stated that opinion, I have seen that within you that makes me feel we may one day co-operate closely and successfully in the most dangerous of endeavours, but that day is not today.
"I will be honest in my priorities in this matter: I want to limit as far as possible the damage to Arcadia and her people, both mythic and mortal; I want you to emerge from Arcadia unscathed, if not unchanged; and I do not want any more of my children in Arcadia than have been born to it." He pauses before continuing delicately, "You may wondering why I should be addressing you at all, given these circumstances?"
Thoughts ripple behind Robin's eyes as she puzzles out Adonis' speech. Someone else has a bad idiolect as far as she's concerned. Sounds like the same stuff he spouted before, except for the innie/outie kids bit -- which to be fair, she didn't raise earlier either.
As far as him talking to her... delaying her? But time's so screwed up that the Ranger would bet that Adonis doesn't have any better of a read on current events than she does. Okay, so she doesn't know why.
"Yep."
Adonis nods at her admission; well it's hardly unexpected, is it?
"I find myself pulled in two directions. I have duties that require my presence in Amber, yet it would seem Mater should be informed of recent developments. If someone were to convey to her a message from her son, then there might be no need for me to be in Arcadia for as long as...the duration of your mission. In return, if you are willing, I can offer some guidance as to what you may expect, and that should enhance your chances of success.
"And I want you to be successful, Robin. I want that very much."
"You... want to go to Amber? Alone?!?" Robin pales. Oh, this is so bad. Unconsciously Robin's hand lifts from her sword and she starts to pace, her hands fluttering as she thinks. A wince crosses her face as she thinks of Jerod -- with Adonis in his teeth. Hopefully, the Prince is still in Paris or wherever. But there's still Martin. And Bleys.
However, there's also Jovian. And Brennan. And Folly. Paige, of course, is its own unavoidable issue. Which brings in the Bleys eek again. Enough of that! The girl turns her thoughts to other currents.
The Message. Adonis can't really think that Robin meeting Artemis is good for her mission, can he? Deep Green! Weeeelll, Robin has other ways of getting messages to people than walking right up to them and saying 'Hi, take me hostage please.'
And she does still seem to be a little out of her element here.
Robin cocks a veeerrry wary eye at Adonis. "Tell you what. You say what you want. I'll do what I want. I call Jovian and send you to him. But..." Robin's eyes soften as a hint of pleading comes into them. "Please, brother, stay near Jovian and... and don't talk too much."
Her brother smiles warmly at yet further ironies. "I can only echo your own words: you must say what you think necessary; I must do as I must. I would like to take your advice, but I understand Jovian has commitments elsewhere." His smile turns a little bashful again, "May I ask if the reason for your concern is that you feel some persons may take my behaviour amiss?"
"Oh, yeah." Robin seems pretty certain about that, though she can't help returning Adonis' ironic smile. "And... well, I can't say anything without prejudicing you further, but Amber isn't safe for someone... uhh. Dung."
Robin drops her eyes to the forest floor and her face gets sad. Then thoughtful. When she lifts her eyes again to Adonis, there's maybe a glimmer of hope there. "Listen, Adonis. Can you live for a little while without pride?" Quickly she adds. "If I do too?"
When she looks up, she sees something she's not seen before, Adonis' smile is one of friendship; he must actually like what he's seeing. Then he drops his head and watches his foot scuffing the ground. "Oh I can live entirely without pride." He looks up again with complete sincerity, "Really, that is not an issue for me."
He steps closer, turning slightly sideways and lowering his head and his voice, as if conferring a really well kept secret, "One of the ironies here is that the main danger for us is that each of us are invading an alien culture." His eyebrow rises in an interrogative. "I would very much appreciate your advice if you will accept mine."
The Ranger's blonde head nods rapidly. "Noticed that one, too" she agrees with a rueful smile. After all, it would really suck if both of them failed and got themselves killed or worse, just out of pride. And advice is a good start. If they can't team up.
"Okay. Shoot."
"One strategy I have been considering is to enter the castle incognito and prowl the corridors in secret until I find what I am looking for and bring it back to Arcadia. This would allow me to avoid antagonising the indigenous population and above all King Random need never know, but what do you think?" He frowns in perplexity.
"Eeek!" Robin shakes her head as rapidly as she was nodding it before. "Oh, no! No, mon frere, don't try that."
Her brother's eyebrow rises at the non-Thari phrase but he seems to get the gist of the meaning.
"We... uh, had a little incident recently involving incognito and prowling shapeshifters, so the Castle is on full alert for that. And Arcadians as well, due to the Heather Vale incident. You'd trigger both set of alarms if you tried to sneak in. And while I'll bet that you can be real sneaky if you want -- right now a gnat isn't getting inside the Castle without being spied and analyzed to within an inch of its life."
"I see! Yes, when you put it like that, my idea does seem a little silly." Adonis doesn't seem even slightly put out. "And ill-mannered, too; surely the King, who has his mandate to rule direct from the Unicorn herself, has every right to know who enters his home. So what strategy would you recommend?"
"Uh, Adonis? King Random is... well, that is, I don't think he's actually going to be the problem. He's..." Robin has trouble finding the words, almost as though once she puts feelings and intuitions into the structure of language, she's surprised by the result, "... reasonable. Perhaps one of the most reasonable of all of our Aunts and Uncles."
The Ranger's green eyes drift off into a memory of the Coronation. "I... don't think he'd ask anything of you that you didn't want to give. And he... perhaps better than any of us has a tolerance for your... nature. He would probably be one of your best allies in Amber. If you can talk to him, I'd think you'd do better than otherwise. But you'll need some help for that.
"Really. My best advice is to get yourself an advocate as soon as you hit the Castle. Best candidates would be probably come from your Knight-Commanders; Jovian's the best choice, but yeah, he might be busy. Brennan's got a good political head on his shoulders, has some sympathy for... accidents of love and knows how to handle the hostile parent issue. But I don't know if he's back from his little trip yet. Lilly? She's still a bit nervous concerning you, so she wouldn't be one of my top choices. I don't know about Marius. I wouldn't recommend Aisling -- it's like yourself, too far on the fringe to make a good advocate."
Adonis shudders, "No, I wouldn't recommend Aisling either, but Lilly, now...mmm!" He shakes off his musing, "Very well, an advocate...now, I suppose you will proceed in the same manner in Arcadia?"
"Uh. I hadn't really given it much thought." Robin blushes, foresight is not one of her favorite hobbies. And then has to laugh.
"I guess I was thinking pretty much along the same paths you were. Except not so much sneaking. Get in, get the job done, get out.
"But see, my primary concern is that I can't let myself be taken hostage. I'm way too big a handle on Dad. And we both know how far he'll go to protect his children. I... just can't... won't," Robin makes a swallowing sound half-way between a gag and a gulp, "don't want that to happen again. Ever!"
"I see!" muses, Adonis, "How strange! I have been worrying to a certain extent the same for myself, in Amber." He pauses, thinking deeply.
Robin sniggers ruefully. Oh, yeah -- two of what are possibly the worst diplomats of their generation are about to enter each other's lands. And the top thing on both of their minds? How to get back out! Yep, there's way too much symmetry to ignore.
But she lets Adonis herd his own thoughts around without interference.
After some time..."Robin, I cannot see why Mater would take you hostage, among other things, she would know that this would not please me, but there may now be other agencies active within Arcadia who might wish to coerce Pater through his children, most obviously Mater's sister, who may not consider my feelings.
"However, I would be very surprised if you could maintain your presence a secret from Mater. I cannot see how you can accomplish your task without speaking to at least one person. If that person wishes you well, and I see no reason why they should not, she or he will offer a prayer on your behalf to an aspect of Mater. If not, then the prayer will not be on your behalf."
He turns toward his sister, wearing a frank expression, "But regardless of intent, Mater hears all prayers in her name in Arcadia, as indeed do I; furthermore, she can manifest at any locus...um...place and time, where her name is spoken. She will rarely do so in the manner she chose at Heather Vale (it was her particular concern for my welfare that drove her to that extreme) but nonetheless, at a moment's notice, she can just 'be' anywhere she needs to be, within Arcadia. In fact, she very much is Arcadia, and the land may be viewed as her own body.
"Considering the circumstances, it seems likely that the two of you will meet. But this need not be a bad thing, as she is one of the few entities who speak Thari, though I can name a few others.
"I feel you should go with your heart as to your mode of operation, tempered by your head, which I hold in higher opinion than perhaps you do, but be prepared to declare yourself openly if challenged by anyone, as your personal link to Pater and myself may prove your best defence, for both of us are highly respected within Arcadia.
"Actually, I regard the dangers toward you in Arcadia to lie in a very different direction."
"I, uh. It's hard, Adonis." Robin sighs. "Part of me totally understands what your Mom did at Heather Vale. I know I would get real extreme if I thought my injured child was being held against his will. But... I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to heal the land. And a Ranger died there. I'm still kind of... well, I'm just not sure I'm going to be able to stay nice around Artemis after that," Robin finishes sadly.
Adonis nods agreement, "I understand, and I have already mentioned to her that the incident has made things more difficult. All I can suggest is that you try to be polite and remember that her fears are very much the same as yours. She will see you for a creature of emotion too, and no one can criticise you as long as you try your best."
"I understand what you're saying about the Land and Prayer and stuff, though. I've been in places like that before... it's why I was thinking of staying fast -- in order to present a moving target." Robin grimaces. Boy, does that not sound like a good plan when said aloud. Robin ruffles her shoulders and lets them fall with a sigh.
Her brother also grimaces in perfect time with her body language: Diana and Artemis are both renowned for their archery.
"So, okay. If we both agree that Callista is a big 'avoid' and I move your Mother to the 'maybe' category... what are the dangers I'm not seeing?" The girl cocks her head, her green eyes thoughtful.
Robin sees Adonis visibly flinch at his aunt's name, only to relax at the terminal mispronunciation.
"Well I have played down any possible threat from Mater, so firstly I must emphasise that about her I may be wrong; I retain that right. I would not expect to be but I know Mater has a darker side and desperation may enhance this side of her personality - it has in me, as we have seen. I merely assert that I think it unavoidable the two of you will meet and you should plan accordingly."
Robin nods. Places of portent can be that way and perhaps she should think of something beyond 'run away, run away.'
"Secondly, you should not underestimate your own 'darker' side. Arcadia is a place of mythic portent and spiritual test. If you succumb to your darker impulses, then you will find Arcadia a place of darkness. Be aware of the darkness in your own soul and be on guard against it."
He places a firm, strong hand on Robin's shoulder, as if supporting her. His dark, dark eyes bore in to hers. "Be warned! Arcadia will test you in this. Our darker sides are crucial aspects of our identities; we cannot function without them. However, it is vital for both you and Arcadia that the light and love, which I know is within your soul, should master the darkness, as it did a short while ago when I confessed my guilt before our father."
Robin jumps a little when Adonis touches her, but holds herself steady. The small war that flashes through her seems to almost perfectly underline her brother's words.
"Be slow to wield your magics; it will draw attention to you. Be very slow to draw your blade. There are many thousands in Arcadia who I consider my children but you are most likely to encounter those who are the fruit of my loins. To slay them would mean you are slaying your nieces and nephews, Pater's grandchildren, and would make a mockery of your mission. If you find yourself tested, fall back on manners - good manners are Gold in Arcadia, and a fair tongue will win you friends in the unlikeliest of circumstances."
Through the Ranger's mind flows the memories of Corwin and Bleys' armies pouring through Arden. And herself, held back from conflict with the Princes. Ooop! Yep, that's one she overlooked and good advice from her brother.
But manners? From herself?!? Dung...
"Beware the passing of time; particularly beware the turning of the seasons. Listen to your instincts and be not too proud to run with your mission undone. You should not be in Arcadia in ultima extrema..." He gropes for some phrase in Thari, "...at the end."
Robin nods firmly. She's fully charged with her family's heritage. Her dying there is a bad thing for any place.
"Finally, I come to the point which I myself do not comprehend." Adonis sighs deeply. "Robin, what can you tell me about your mother?"
"Hunh?" That came out of nowhere for Robin. The girl bites her lip a little as she thinks about in what sense 'mother' would be important in Arcadia.
"Why?" Robin blushes as she hears how abrupt her answer sounds even to her own ears. "I mean, that's not an easy question to answer. And what the answer is for... well, changes it." The Ranger shrugs a little with an embarrassed smile. Maternal parentage is... just not that straightforward for some.
Adonis searches her face intently, as if looking carefully for something very valuable, or very dangerous. Then he drops his head to think for a minute. When he speaks, it is slowly, as if searching for the right words to describe a very difficult concept.
"I think you know Pater fairly well but it may still surprise you to learn that he and I are considerably alike in many traits." He glances up to see if she agrees.
"I... uh. Well frankly, Adonis, I don't know you -- and your homeland -- well enough to be making a lot of comparisons. But I'm willing to accept that you feel you have much in common with Dad. Which, in my view, is a good thing." Robin finishes with a little 'there you have it' smile and shrug.
"Pater, perhaps by nature, but certainly by experience, is adept at detecting dangers; things to be feared. In the same way, I am suited, by inclination and rearing, to detect connections, relationships. But just as Pater may sometimes see dangers that are not real, similarly I may occasionally see connections that do not truly exist."
While Robin truly doubts that Julian sees dangers that are not real, just occasionally ones that do not manifest, she nods at the rest of Adonis' statments. She herself likes to play with blendings and contrasts. And Adonis certainly seems to share her joy for absolutely soaring to conclusions based almost entirely on inference and guesswork.
Heck, everybody needs a hobby and this seems to be one they both enjoy. Robin has to fight... well, she loses and the rueful chuckle goes through her frame and a sympathetic twinkle dances in her eye.
He breathes in deeply; this is the difficult bit. "I have noticed, certain traits about you that strike a familiarity: despite our differences, which are real, I feel we are attuned in a sense I do not understand. I do not know if you have felt this too but I feel our current conversation stems from this.
"I confess, after our first meeting, I was sceptical of our having a blood relationship of a close degree; you will recall I said as much at the time. Pater has since confirmed his paternity and I apologise unreservedly for doubting our relationship, but Pater's words at the time reminded me that each of is made from two parts, a father and a mother.
"My aunt seemed to treat the two of us as, in some way equivalent. I confess I allowed this to irk me at the time but it also confused me. She seemed to treat you as if you were an Arcadian.
"Mater told me before I left Arcadia that anyone connected to either of us would be drawn to Arcadia. I confess I did not appreciate her meaning at the time but it is now becoming clearer. And here you are, entering Arcadia, despite my best efforts, which if you will pardon only a little pride, are not inconsiderable.
"Please do not take this amiss for it is not meant as an insult, but I have already remarked to Pater on certain parallels between you and my female relations." Adonis is very wary when he says this; he's clearly unsure of his reaction.
"Robin, mine is the right to be wrong, but I feel it is at least possible that Arcadian blood may run in your veins. You are clearly of Amber heritage through Pater but I know nothing of your mother; hence my question."
"Oh, well, uh..." Robin snaps her mouth shut before anything even less intelligent comes out.
Turning away from Adonis, the girl bites her lip worriedly. In her mind's eye is her father making sure that Jovian was a part of that conversation in the caves of Danu. Robin's brow furrows unhappily as she looks sideways over at Adonis. Just 'cause she and the Arcadian have their... differences, as he so eloquently pointed out, does that mean... oh, dung.
Robin turns back to her brother with almost no clue as to how to approach this subject. "Look Adonis, I... Verde! You said that everyone is made from two parts -- a mother and a father. And I can totally understand why you feel that way and why blood is so important to you. Can you understand that there are people for whom... that might not be true? Who are not made up of just two parts or for whom blood is less important than choice?"
The Ranger ruffles her shoulders in sad confusion. That didn't sound right, too abstract and not answering the question. Robin tries again, her voice a quiet whisper, barely the faintest burble of a stream.
"Adonis. I... have almost no knowledge as to my parentage. The only thing I can say for certain is that I am a descendant of the former King of Amber. And most likely a close one. Other than that... pffft!" The girl gestures helplessly. "And after what I saw on the Black Road... what I know can be done with sorcery or technology... I can't even guarantee that there were two people involved in my conception.
"My earliest memories are of Arden. And Dad. And... others." Robin turns from that subject. The rest of it is painful enough without bringing up Rattle. "Back then, no one ever talked with me about where I came from. And I never investigated. How I came to be just... wasn't important to who I was. It didn't matter. What I chose was. And I chose Arden. And Julian."
"What you heard..." the girl's voice dampens to a sad murmur "was your father confirming that choice. He and I have chosen that he is my father. And we're committed to it. I... I am talking to you now, because I am equally committed to you as my brother. And I am not EVER giving up on that. Not even if you call me not your sister again." Robin's eyes are wet with green tears by the time she finishes but underneath there is a flare of stubborn resolution.
Long before the end of Robin's gushing admission, her brother's expression is one of terminal bewilderment. After she finishes, he closes his mouth, looks away, looks back, starts to say something, stops, scratches his head, and finally asks, "So Pater is your adoptive father?"
"Probably... Really, Adonis, I don't know anything about my parents." Robin ruffles sadly. "Though there's seems to be some mounting evidence that my *mother* was of Amber. But..." she shrugs.
"And if your next question is 'how can we be so much alike, when we're no... given...'" the girl chokes off her statement. She doesn't like even talking thinking that they're not siblings. "I don't know, Adonis. I really don't. But I believe as strongly as you do that we are... really frighteningly similar in a lot of ways."
Adonis licks his lips and somehow manages to stop looking stupid by an effort of pure self-control, he is a son of his father after all. Instead he takes on the expression of a man hurriedly recalculating a very difficult equation after someone has pointed out a fundamental flaw in his arithmetic.
"I see! Yes! Really, I should not be surprised. This phenomenon is common enough in Arcadia; I have several thousands of adoptive children myself and I have long suspected Pater would also adopt, given certain circumstances." He gives vent to an ironic chuckle. "Before we met, I had heard some rangers talk of you and from their words I had conjectured that you might even be my daughter." He smiles ruefully over at Robin. "Is it not rich?"
The Ranger shrugs. It's not beyond the realm of possibility, but still... a little flare of rebellion runs up Robin's spine -- she is Julian's daughter, not anybody else's. That's what they were just talking about.
"Fear not! I doubt this is the case and, even if it were, I would have little right to call you 'daughter' at this time. But yet, as you say, the similarities are frightening. Your *mother* was of Amber, you say? Then any Arcadian blood must come through your father. Mmm!"
Adonis shrugs, "It makes no difference to my warning. I appreciate the strength of your 'choice'. Pater and I love each other because I am his son but neither of us have any choice in our relationship; you, however, he has *chosen* to love - a positive act, as I am sure you will agree, and I feel it is reciprocated in full. There is a power in that you may draw on.
"But please do not believe that merely because you have chosen to cleave to Pater that this negates your 'natural' connections. If you recognise they are there, you will be prepared; if not, you may be surprised at their strength. If my guess as to your bloodline is true, then at the very least it will...'intensify' your experience in Arcadia." He shakes his head wearily. "I do not pretend to understand all this."
"I..." Robin stops and thiiiinnnnkkks about it. Memories of Dannan drift across her mind. "Uh, yeah. Okay, you're right on that one. Just because I might belittle any other possible connections doesn't mean they can't pop up and whap me over the head," she admits ruefully.
Then she notices her brother's mood. "Awww, Adonis." The Ranger places a tender hand on her brother's upper arm. "Understanding isn't really necessary for love and *you* are still the brother of my heart." Robin's eyes glow with sympathy and sincerity. Please Unicorn, let him see. She smile tremulously at him, still somewhat skittish that he's going to reject her again because she doesn't fit all nicely into the Arcadian paradigm.
He raises his head, a warm smile answering hers. "Oh, you need not worry on that score; I have had long experience in loving without understanding." His eyes, drift off slightly, as if he's listening to some distant music, then they drift back to meet the ranger's eyes, eyebrow rising in interrogative. "Perhaps we should make this a formality, yes?"
"Hunh?" The Ranger looks confused.
He half turns and shuffles his feet until brother and sister front each other full-face before enunciating formally in his stuffiest and most pompous tone, "Robin, as Pater has chosen you for his daughter and you have reciprocated, know then that I, Adonis Adonai, reciprocate your choice in full. You are the sister of my heart; this I choose. And you will remain so in addition to any other relationship that may later become established between us." His eyes are large and very dark, so dark the pupil is barely discernable from the iris.
Robin's eyes twinkle with a myriad of emotions. She represses the urge to burst out giggling at Adonis' tone. Instead she chooses to let gratitude and relief flow through her in a warm pulse. That Adonis understood and valued not only her choice but the place choice held in her life was... very, very sweet. The least she could do was value and understand not only his formalities but the place they held in his life.
Thus she intones in her best 'I'm serious about this' voice, for all the Green to hear at this place on the border between Arden and Arcadia. "And I, Robin of Arden, daughter of Julian of Amber, do now name Adonis Adonai, the brother of my heart, and he will remain so in addition to any other relationships that may later come my way."
Hmmm. That didn't quite sound quite right, but at least she tried.
Adonis' pomposity vanishes in a laugh of pure delight. "Oh, very good," he gurgles, "fair words indeed! I foretell all Arcadia will love the Maid of Arden." He raises his voice and shouts joyously as he whirls around, his aspect full upon him, "May these trees bear witness to our declaration! May the birds and the beasts spread the word!"
At that, Robin does burst into a brief bout of giggles. Laughter shared with Adonis and the trees and the birds and the beasts.
His mirth quietens to a grateful, if slightly sad, smile as he turns back. "Thank you, Robin! For letting me play the part of Big Brother. I had not realised how much I miss it."
"Well." Robin drops a quick kiss on Adonis' cheek. "You are definitely playing. But there's no part, Big Brother. Though I have to warn you, I tend to fall on the bratty end of the Kid Sister spectrum." She wrinkles her nose at him, her eyes twinkling mischievously.
He smiles back; his eyes shine rather than twinkle. A hand comes up to touch where the kiss fell but falls again quickly.
"There is so much I could still say to you but I sense time comes between us for the nonce. Let me see, what is there still of importance? Um...oh yes, I have not yet given you my message for Mater..." He thinks for a minute, plenty of time for Robin to slip in a comment if she wishes.
"I do not lay upon you a charge, or even a request, that you seek her out, for I am confident that you and she will meet, unless she does not wish it or another agency intervenes..." He pauses a moment, as if a worrying thought occurs to him, but then his face clears..., "If you meet, please introduce yourself, giving your name and stating your connection to Pater and myself. By all means advance your mission by request but also convey to her my love and devotion, along with intelligence pertaining to her mother and her sisters, and the latter's stated commitment to a negotiated settlement.
"Advise her that, having conferred discretely with Pater and yourself as to method, I am about the duty she laid on me. If she should express doubt as to any of this, please tell her...tell her...that her son still recalls the taste; she will know the inference. Can you remember all that?"
"Yep." Robin nods matter-of-factly. A good memory for messages is de riguer for the mostly illiterate Rangers of Arden. "If we run into one another, I'll pass it along. And if we don't... I'll see if I can figure out at least a semi-secure way to get the message through." A small flat smile crosses Robin's lips.
Adonis smiles, nodding knowingly. If it's possible, he's sure she can find a way.
"Lessee. Last minute details about Amber... if you can't get ahold of Jovian or Brennan, your next best bets would be... Folly, I guess. But go straight to her, don't go through Martin. Vere, but like Jovian, he could be really busy." There's no way to hide the flare that goes through Robin at the mention of Vere's name, so she doesn't try. "Aaaannnddd.... Reid, I think. If he's in town."
"People to avoid at all costs are Prince Jerod, Prince Martin and Prince Caine. These are the ones most likely to take fatal or, at least, very serious exception to your ways, mon frere. Unfortunately, the other big danger to you -- Prince Bleys -- well... there's just not anyway you're going to be able to avoid that one, Adonis. He's Paige's father and a master warrior, highly skilled in the Family Gifts, master manipulator. I... can't give you any advice on how to deal with him because I suck at it myself." A rueful shrug ruffles through Robin's shoulders.
"I have already spoken to Caine and Martin, and I have been told the former may have been responsible for saving my life. You must understand that I cannot allow myself to be prejudiced against them, but I shall bear your words in mind should I cross their paths."
Robin shrugs to indicate that they don't have to have the same friends.
"As to Bleys...I have some experience with fathers and manipulation, but I gratefully accept your words of wisdom and shall not ignore them." The way Adonis uses the plural of 'father' might indicate he includes his own or it might not; he definitely means more than one, though (and he gives no sign that he might deplore the limitations of Thari as a language). "Do you have any other advice, sister?"
"Ooonnne other thing." Robin looks really embarrassed. The ironical similarities are piling way too high on this one, but she feels that she should at least mention it. "It... might be a good idea if you stretched to maybe, at least a loincloth, mon frere. If you can, think of it as not so much hiding or changing your selfness, but as shielding some of the more delicate eyes of Amber from... the full glory of your Aspect." The girl can't quite get that out with a straight face, for all that she's sincere about the sentiment.
"Ah! Yes!" Her brother taps a finger on his lips as an aid to thought (well every little helps). "When my presence is generally required in places less wild than the woods, I customarily wear a simple white tunic, approximately mid-thigh length, cotton. Sometimes with a green trim." He seems slightly embarrassed. "I don't suppose you might know where such may be acquired at short notice?"
"Hmmmm... I think I might have a nightrobe that could serve..." Robin puts her pack down on the forest floor and rummages through it as she calls upon her heritage.
Adonis looks down on her as she scrabbles through her pack, sensing the movement of arcane forces about her.
Smushed up down in the bottom of Robin's pack is a sleeveless tunic of white wool with a trim of woven green yarn. It is the perfect size to cover the smaller Robin to mid-calf and the larger Adonis to mid-thigh. And since it was cut loosely for a somewhat rounded woman, when Robin holds it up, it looks like it might not even bind over Adonis' shoulders.
A wry smile darts across Robin's face as she hands the tunic to her brother.
"Thank you, Robin! Both for the advice and the garment. Mmm! It would seem this leaves me in your debt. I think there are two more things I might conceivably give you at a moment's notice."
The Ranger shakes her blonde head. "Jovian says we don't 'count' family. And I agree with him. There's no debt, mon frere. Still, I'll listen to your things."
Adonis acknowledges her grace with a nod. "The first is a name. Entering Arcadia as you will, directly in to the Wild Wood, you are very likely to encounter centaurs. They are feirce, proud and typically patrol the borders. You may not encounter them first but I deem them more likely than any other.
"Be not too affronted if they seem hostile, particularly in these times. They're loyalty is unquestionable. There are a few, a very few, among them who speak Thari, having learned it from their father, who learned it from his.
"Chiron is their chieftain, a peer among equals and a physician whom many deem wise. He and his people know me as 'Pholus'. Though fierce, they will be slow to harm you if you if you mention these names."
"Chiron. Pholus." Robin nods. And thinks a little about Adonis' earlier wince, his statements concerning his mother, and the power of Names.
"Chiron is no god and he will not hear you speak...unless his powers have grown greatly since last we met. It is possible, but unlikely - always assuming he lives." He seems suddenly struck by a thought that he clearly does not like but after a moment he shakes it off and continues...
"Which matter brings me to the second. You are now aware that the Gods of Arcadia hear the prayers of the faithful. It occurs to me that this may serve us should other forms of communication prove unreliable." He studies Robin's face carefully, measuring her response.
"Hunh?" Robin seems baffled.
"I know you have Pater's card, but this has failed you before in matters concerning my maternal relations." He takes a deep breath. "I am not suggesting that you should not look first to Pater's card, or Jovian's, should you need to speak to someone outside Arcadia, but perhaps we should be prepared should their function be prohibited?"
"Are... you suggesting that I pray to you in Arcadia? And that you'll hear me in Amber if I do?" Robin's expression is of one trying to be polite and open-minded at the same time dealing with a heady mix of skepticism and distaste.
"I feel the word 'pray' is an unnecessarily emotive word. I assure you this is not worship. Let us say that, should you call my name, and if you truly believe the brother of your heart returns your love in full, then perhaps I will hear you, even in Amber.
"Obviously, an immediate response would be out of the question, but at the very least I should be able to alert Pater. Neither do I deny that perhaps this too may become blocked by someone aware of the possibility. But it is a possible alternative, and, if we can make contact, it may surprise both sides of our family."
He drops his head and a note of apology enters his voice, "Of course, I shall understand completely if you find the very suggestion distasteful. I am only raising the matter out of concern to offer as many avenues to you as possible."
"I... calling your name with the power of love in my heart is not a problem, Adonis." Robin grins sheepishly. "I do things like that all the time. It's just... well, like you said, if there's no prayer or worship involved it's not an issue. Don't worry about it."
She nudges him gently with a closed fist on the upper arm. The Ranger is still cautious around her so-strange brother, otherwise he would've been treated to a full friendly thump.
"I'm just not sure it will work. It didn't the last few times I tried it. Course I wasn't in Arcadia at the time."
"You called upon me?" Her brother is clearly very surprised she should have even bothered, then he thinks. (He seems not to have noticed the 'punch' at all.)
"No, no." Robin hurries to correct the misunderstanding. "It was Father I called upon. With all the power of my heart and from places of power. And it didn't work...." she trails off sadly. "That's why I'm kind of skeptical about 'calling' in general."
Adonis nods in a 'now I understand' sort of manner. "You must understand that, while my powers are meagre indeed compared to Pater's, or perhaps even to yours, nonetheless they exist but are of a different order. If you call my name, and you really believe...," he shrugs in a 'who knows' gesture, "...perhaps one day you may even hear my response?"
Then he looks up, reaching with his left hand to cup her cheek and gently pull her face closer to his. He speaks fiercely, intensely.
[If Robin permits this, they wind up less than a foot apart. There's no threat intended in the gesture but with the intensity of his gaze, it might be intimidating.]
The Ranger shivers a little at his touch, but doesn't seem to mind it. In fact, she cups her hand over Adonis'. But as the god begins to pull her toward him, Robin starts to flutter uncomfortably and her eyes turn from Adonis'.
"But you must believe..."
"Adonis... please... I... don't know you well enough. Please, don't move me around. Don't trap me." Robin's shivers move toward actual shudders, almost as though she were fighting back a natural instinct in an attempt to stay friendly, stay civilized. The instinct of a wild falcon with its wings pinioned.
Suddenly the intensity is gone. His hand falls, reluctantly, to his side.
"Of course! Entrapment is not my intention; quite the opposite. Please forget I said anything at all."
"Oh! No... silly man." Robin says softly and fondly as she kisses him on the cheek again. "It's not the words. I hear and understand those. They're fine. It's this." She takes his chin gently and then pulls his face first one way, then the other. "And this." She hugs him fiercely but forces his head to her chest in a fine imitation of Adonis' earlier hug. And then quickly releases him.
He lets her pull his face as she wishes; he feels no threat in her actions. Neither does he flinch from her embrace. Indeed, a brief spasm in his muscles, easily felt by his sister, reveals he has to refrain from returning it.
"We... don't touch each other that way. At home. Unless we know one another very well. It's... confining. Physically confining." The girl's eyes are soft and pleading, hoping her wild brother will understand.
"I see...I think I see!" He looks down and away and then back again, but as his eyes meet hers, the dark flames seem quiescent, almost deliberately hidden. "Yes, it was foolish of me to press you so closely so soon."
He smiles politely, retreating in to formality. "I was trying to touch your soul, but of course such intimacy is not the 'done thing' in Amber, and I should not have intruded without your permission. I knew this of course, but perhaps I allowed myself to get a little 'carried away'. I ask you to forgive the breach of etiquette."
"Thank you." A sad lop-sided smile lifts one corner of Robin's lips. "Please, just give me a little time, mon frere. Our first two meetings... hurt. And I'm still a little skittish. I love you, but I'm... just not ready to be grabbed by you, yet. Give me time and I'll come to gauntlet. Just not right now. K?
"I know I hurt you too..." Robin trails off.
This last brings a dismissive wave, very reminiscent of his father; any pain Robin has caused is clearly inconsequential. "I do not wish to dismiss your feelings, Robin, but I believe I hurt Pater far more than you. By comparison to you both, any pain I might have suffered is no more than a prickle.
"There is a saying in the City, sister; trite but true - 'Love Hurts!' We cannot be close to the ones we love without causing them some pain, and vice-versa, of course. You will come to understand that in time. But a certain amount of pain helps remind us that we are alive...," at this point he breaks in to a broad smile, "...and it is not as if our loved ones do not also bring great joy, and this you have brought me in this place." He gestures to include their immediate environs.
"Me too." Robin beams. "I mean, you've made me happy too.
"Uh... I better get going..." she says relunctantly. "Best to leave on a high note.
"Take care of yourself, mon frere." She hugs him for real this time. "And thank you for... well, everything."
Adonis returns her embrace, but taking care not to overdo things this time round.
Which seems to work well as, after an initial quiver, Robin calms down to a nice warm clinch.
"And I must also thank you; I am sure your advice will prove seminary - advocate and king, mmm! Pater said told me it would do us both good to negotiate."
He lets her go and steps back, eyeing her appraisingly. "Geia taksiodi! Fare you well, Robin! My prayers go with you!"
"Au revoir, Adonis. May the wind never be at your back." Robin lifts her hand in farewell, scoops up her pack and scoots, thinking that maybe having Adonis' prayers around may not be such a bad thing, considering where she's going.
Adonis waves cheerily to his sister, before turning and walking quickly back up the path.
Last modified: 18 December 2004