Late one evening, Folly comes to Paige's quarters. She's in a pretty good mood -- she greets Paige with a bright smile and a big hug -- but she's obviously got something on her mind.
Paige greets her warmly. "Please have a seat. This is my first night in the new room, so I really can't tell you what's comfortable and what's not." The room is cluttered, as if she decided to toss everything that wasn't in the right place on the bed until she can put them each in their homes. "Although I have to admit Liam did a wonderful job doing what he could."
Folly settles into a chair with a pillow hugged to her chest and cuts right to the chase. "So, sweetie," she begins, "are you really serious about trying to get married right away?"
"Why? You proposing?" Paige asks with a smile.
Folly grins, but doesn't say anything. Paige continues:
"I think that would spin Harmony's head a bit too far, and really... what would your boyfriend think?"
"Boyfr-...?" Folly starts, giving Paige a probing look, as if she has said something particularly surprising. But then she clues in. "Oh. Yeah. That. Y'know, I'm not sure I ever called him that even when we were...."
She lets out a short, bitter laugh. "Even when we were."
Folly shakes her head and gestures for Paige to continue.
Paige smiles, since she wasn't talking about anyone in particular, not even Syd, but doesn't comment.
"Really, I don't know. I think I've given up on it. I had hoped to spare the children the problems of growing up with just a single parent, but Worth, it's not fair to him, and Alan, well Alan's still married, and by the time he's not... Well, I'll be a scandal magnet," Paige concludes sinking into the chaise across from Folly.
"The nubbins'll be OK as long as you're OK, sweetie," Folly says gently. "If you want to be married, then go ahead and marry; but make sure it's to the right person. If Alan's worth marrying, he's worth waiting for. Or maybe someone else will come along who'll love you and love them and help you make a good home for them. The good of a happy home -- and a happy mother -- far outweighs the sting of a little scandal."
"I hope, honey. I really do hope so. I've kinda started the wheels turning to finalize buying some property from Baron Ransom. He could use the money," Paige leans in, "horrible gambling debt you know... And I could use a place that I'm in better control of, surrounded by people I trust and people I can trust around the twins."
Folly nods her agreement at that, but lets Paige continue....
"We'll see. I don't know if Alan would even still have me," she muses. "When we're together, it's amazing, but I don't know if I could live with him. Last guy I ever came close to an extended relationship with I just fucked over by fucking around, and the one before that?" She shakes her head.
"...you had a relationship with that lasted longer than my entire life so far, if I've understood the stories right," Folly offers.
Paige smiles, "Years don't always equate to wisdom, honey."
"If you really are serious about settling down and committing yourself to one man," Folly continues, "either making compromises in your life for his sake, or finding someone who accepts you as you are and whom you're willing to accept as he is -- well, I really don't think it's all as hopeless as you make it sound. It'll just take a little time, is all."
She smiles, but there's a trace of sadness behind her eyes. "It's all gonna work out, Paige. Really, it is." She almost seems to be convincing herself as much as Paige.
Paige smiles compassionately. "We're some pair, eh?"
She crosses to Folly and kneels at her feet, looking for the source of the sadness. "Whatever it is, you know you can talk to me, right? I know that I'm normally the one dumping on you, but that doesn't mean I'm not here for you, too." She won't push, Folly knows that.
Folly leans down and kisses the top of Paige's head softly, trailing her fingers through the silky flame-red waves of her hair. "I love you, you know that?" she says after a moment.
Paige nods gently, smiling at her lover's touch. _And I you,_ her eyes answer.
She sits up again, but continues to stroke Paige's hair, as if for comfort. Her bottom lip twitches a couple of times as though she's about to speak, but she remains silent for a long time, perhaps unsure of what to say -- or whether to say it.
Again, Paige doesn't press, knowing that Folly-time doesn't run at the same speed as the rest of Shadow. Normally it was much faster than most mortals could comprehend. If today it was a bit slower, it proved that there was still balance in the universe.
Finally she takes a deep breath and says, "So, you know Martin and I get along pretty well, right?"
Paige searches Folly's eyes for direction, but only answers, "Yes, of course." Her tone is warm and she seems to be listening with her whole body. Folly is the center of her focus during this conversation it seems.
"Well, I -- he -- I mean...." Folly swallows hard a couple of times, folds her hands nervously in her lap, and finally spits it out:
"I -- I care about him, Paige, you know that, and... and probably nothing will ever come of it, but if it did...."
The mental dam broken, her words come tumbling out now: "I just didn't want you to be taken completely by surprise if something were to happen. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt you. I know you've said it wouldn't bother you, if he and I.... But I also know you still love him."
Folly goes back to stroking Paige's hair. She looks almost scared.
Paige runs a gambit of responses behind her eyes, before a reassuring smile reaches them. "Honey... Love... Yes, I love him just as I love you," she says looking into Folly's eyes, brushing aside the purple locks to see them.
"How can I not understand his allure?" Paige asks, almost in a joking manner. "His dangerous disappearances, his mood swings, his most elaborate answer to any question his father's nod," she chuckles softly. "His cute ass?
"What woman wouldn't love him? And if she were wonderful, and caring, and lucky enough that he loved her back? I think she'd have to count herself blessed and anyone who dared call themselves her friend would be happy for her."
Folly smiles, relieved but also a little sad, knowing that although Paige speaks sincerely, the news isn't exactly easy for her to hear. Folly only hopes that the pain is diminished somewhat from finding out sooner rather than later. She wraps her arms around Paige and holds her close for a long moment, then kisses her forehead as she draws back again.
"Oh, I almost forgot!" Folly says, her tone suddenly much lighter. "D'you think you could do a Trump sketch of me before the Coronation? Syd's sending me off on an errand with Martin right after, and Martin wants a way to find me, as a precaution, in case we somehow get separated."
Folly's got that trying-to-be-cool-despite-being-excited-as-a-kid- at-Christmas sparkle in her eye.
"Sure," Paige answers. "How about a 'you draw me drawing you drawing me' session. And we'll discuss Image," she says.
The excited sparkle in Folly's eye gets even more intense.
"No reason that the twins should get in the way of me teaching you Trump, unless you'd prefer to work with Ossian," she suggests.
Distance from the unmarried mother would be good for the Ward's social calander. Nor could the love... friendship help Folly's... what to call it... her romance... relationship... whatever... with Martin. Friends Paige and he might be, but he wasn't still comfortable with her in any intimate way. She wasn't arrogant enough to think that she was the reason nothing had happened yet, but she couldn't be helping things.
A small tear welled up in her eye, as she thought of the distance, of losing Folly, but she wouldn't let it ruin Folly's happiness.
"I'm sure he'd love to work with you."
"And I'm sure I will work with him, too, eventually," Folly says gently. "But I want to get your perspective first. I mean, I know you better than I know him; I suspect that'll make it easier for me to learn something so intuitive from you. And it's not like I'll mind having such a good excuse to spend extra time with you." She smiles, and the message seems to be _Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere_.
"You've already got your own intuitive artistry, Folly. You're just learning a different medium," Paige answers off handedly. "I still wonder if tone poems couldn't be set to create a similar effect," she muses.
"Yeah, that's definitely something I want to look into once I know the basics of the regular way," Folly responds. "I mean, the way Ossian explained the concept of Trumps to me, before they started working again, was not so far removed from how I'd explain music to someone."
"Well, either way, yes of course we'll work on sketches. I've got only a few myself for those purposes. Of course one would hope in another few months I'll have a proper Trump of you done," she says smiling back. "I've a few years worth of sketches to work from so one would hope it doesn't take as long, but you can't always put a deadline on art, or the Art."
Folly nods, smiling. "Merlin sketched me this morning, too -- not a Trump sketch, but possibly a study for one -- after you left for the tea-party."
Then a new thought takes her: "Hey, how old is Merlin, anyway?" she asks.
"You know, I don't think I've ever asked," Paige answers. [Assuming the GM's will tell me if I'm off base here...]
"I've known him for a few decades for me. As to how time passes in Chaos, I really can't tell you."
Folly nods thoughtfully. "He seems very young to me, but maybe that's just because he's from such a different culture."
She rolls a few things around in her mind and decides to ask Paige the question she couldn't quite bring herself to ask Merlin:
"So, how does Chaosian reproduction work, anyway?"
"I don't think it does," Paige laughs.
"Remember the comments that Merlin made about me not remembering him, or my personality changing?" she asks. "That's more than we've ever really discussed on the topic, although somewhere I got the idea that entites can be absorbed for energy/power/what-have-you and also spun off at a loss of the same."
Folly's eyes widen slightly, as if something she'd been puzzling over has just clicked into place. But she lets Paige continue:
"As to seeming young, it's definitely the cultural differences. When he wraps his mind about a concept, well.. lets say that such a changable environment breeds rather orderly people at times."
Paige chuckles, "Stubborn would be another word. I'm glad that you or Martin have to tell him about your thing, not me. He was convinced yesterday that he could do something that would make everything right again for me and the Rebman."
"Oh, shit," Folly says, remembering her earlier conversation with Merlin. "Yeah. He... uh... does seem rather upset by you two not being together anymore."
Suddenly, Folly sits up, alarmed, and looks Paige straight in the eye. "You... you don't think he'd try something weird, do you?"
"I can't see it, honey," Paige reassures her. "Even if he did have his own thoughts on things, he's not going to cross Martin on his love life. Trust me."
Folly nods, but she doesn't look entirely convinced.
"So what about Syd?"
Folly offers up a terribly sad smile. "What about him? The last thing he needs is me pining for him. I still love him -- I always will, and I think he knows that -- but I know I have to let go."
"Or at least wait til Vialle snuffs it," Paige offers. "She's not family. Best she's got is a couple hundred years one would expect. Patience, that's the key.
Folly looks distressed. "But Vialle isn't really the issue, Paige. So he was forced to get married -- I don't really give a shit about that. If that'd been the only thing that was different... well, we could've worked around it.
"But our whole situation has changed. He's the king now, and I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure he stays king 'til he's damn well ready to step down. If I sit around wishing that we could go back to the way things were, I'm not going to be any help to him at all, y'know?"
Folly shrugs and looks down at her hands. "I -- I don't know what's gonna happen, Paige. But I've gotta let go so he can call the shots."
Paige wants to argue that Vialle is an issue, else Martin wouldn't be so worried, but decides not to press that issue.
"How's Martin gotten past the fact that you've got unresolved issues with his father?" she asks.
Now Folly looks a little hurt. "I do not have issues," she protests, not very convincingly.
"OK, so how's he gotten past the issues he himself must be having? He seems to really want to make a go at getting to know the man. Does that make you required reading?" Paige asks with a joking smile, trying to lighten the mood.
Folly smirks and folds her arms across her chest. "Ha, ha," she says sarcastically -- but the sparkle is returning to her eyes. "I suppose one can but hope I'm written in Braille."
She cracks a big grin, then, the stress of a moment ago forgotten.
"Yeah, good thing he reads it with his tongue," Paige chuckles.
"You know, forget it. It's really none of my business, Folly," she decides. "I'm happy for you both, and you should both know that I'm here for you, always. You want to talk about him, Syd, the seahag, or whatever, you let me know."
"Thanks, sweetheart, I really do appreciate it," Folly replies, the sentiment genuine. "I suspect I'll be taking you up on that offer."
"I'm always here for you," Paige smiles, "Him too, not that he'd ever admit he needs anyone." The words aren't edged at all, just a statement of fact in Paige's eyes with no judgement either way. "The doors here and where ever I end up calling home are always open to you both."
Last modified: 3 January 2003